Thinking of Something

— I’m thinking of something!

— Is it an animal?

— Yes.

— Mammal?

— Yes.

— Big or small?

— I can only say yes or no. But it’s medium-sized.

— Medium compared to what?

— Well, you tell me. It’s small compared to an elephant, big compared to a mouse.

— Oh, come on, that’s useless. Does it live in Italy?

— No.

— Is it dangerous?

— Depends.

— On what?

— If you make it angry.

— Oh, come on, what kind of answer is that…

— A bear!

— No.

— A jaguar!

— No.

— A kangaroo?

— No!

— Guys, stop throwing out random animals, ask some questions…

— A kangaroo isn’t dangerous.

— If it kicks you, it is.

— Well, okay, if I kick you, I’ll hurt you too.

— It’s not a kangaroo.

— Does it live in Africa?

— Yes.

— A lion!

— No.

— A rhino!

— No.

— A giraffe?

— When has a giraffe ever been dangerous?

— If it headbutts you, I bet it is.

— Okay, I give up.

— It’s a hippo!

— Oh, come on, that’s not medium-sized!

— Yes, it is!

— Medium compared to a dinosaur?

— You can’t change the scale now.

— Can I go next?

— Sure.

— Is it an animal?

— No.

— A fictional character?

— Yes.

— From a movie?

— No.

— From a cartoon?

— Yes.

— Old or new?

— You can only say yes or no.

— Old.

— Like, did you guys watch it too?

— Yes.

— Disney?

— No.

— Wait, wait… Looney Tunes?

— Yes.

— Tweety?

— No.

— Daffy Duck?

— No.

— Bugs Bunny?

— Nooo.

— Do we know this character well?

— Very well.

— Is it a villain?

— No.

— Wile E. Coyote?

— Yes!

— Willy is not a villain!

— How come?

— Runner is the villain!

— I cannot agree more upon that.

— Yay!

— My turn?

— Ugh, fine.

— Is it an animal?

— No.

— A character?

— Yes.

— From a cartoon?

— No.

— From a movie?

— No.

— From a video game?

— Yes.

— Old or new?

— New.

— Do we all know it?

— No, Mom doesn’t.

— Oh, easy then: Fortnite.

— No.

— Minecraft?

— No.

— Is it from a game we all play?

— Yes.

— Is it the main character?

— No.

— A bad guy?

— Yes.

— Bowser?

— No.

— From Super Mario?

— No.

— From Sonic?

— Yes.

— Dr. Robotnik?

— Yes!

— You bet I know him!

— Woohoo! My turn now.

— Ugh, you grown-ups always get to go first! It’s not fair.

— Okay, okay, you go.

— Mom, can you roll down the window a little, please?

— Sure. Better?

— Yeah, thanks.

— Okay. I’m thinking of something.

— Is it an animal?

— Yes.

— Big or small?

— Medium.

— Again? Are all animals just medium-sized now?

— This one is really medium!

— Bigger than a dog?

— Where does it live?

— Only yes or no.

— Does it live in Italy?

— Yes.

— Is it a dog?

— No.

— A cat?

— No.

— Does it live in the woods?

— Yes.

— A deer?

— No.

— A wolf?

— No.

— A fox?

— No.

— A badger?

— No.

— Oh my God, stop guessing blindly!

— A hedgehog!

— Yes! It’s a hedgehog! Well done!

— That is not medium at all! Hedgehogs are so tiny!

— It depends.

— On what?

— If you compare it to an ant, it’s big.

— You are definitely your father’s daughter. Unbelievable.

— I’m thinking of something!

— Is it an animal?

— Yes.

— Big?

— Medium-sized.

— Again?! Is medium the only option?

— This one’s actually medium!

— Wait, wait. You need to take this exit.

— This is our exit, right?

— Yep, next one.

— What do you mean by next one?

— This one!

— Okay! Hold on a second guys. Where were we?

— Bigger than a dog?

— Where does it live?

— Only yes or no.

— In Italy?

— No.

— In the desert?

— No.

— Does it fly?

— No.

— Is it a carnivore?

— Omnivore.

— Is it dangerous?

— No.

— Does it smell like popcorn?

— Yes! Ahahahaha!

— It’s a binturong!

— Yes!

— But… how does an animal smell like popcron?

— No idea.

— Its pee smells like popcorn. Nature is weird.

— But how does pee smell like popcron?!

— Popcron… ahahahaha!

— I’m thinking of something!

— A character?

— Yes.

— From a movie?

— Also.

— From a book?

— Yes!

— Harry Potter?

— Yes.

— One of the main characters?

— Depends.

— What do you mean “depends”? Either it is or it isn't!

— It’s important but not the focus.

— Gryffindor?

— No.

— Slytherin?

— No.

— Ravenclaw!

— Yes.

— Does she see Wrackspurts?

— Yes!

— It’s Luna Lovegood!

— Well done!

— Not a main.

— Never a main.

— You guessed, right?

— Just to clarify it’s not a main.

— Come on, dad!

— I’m thinking of something!

— A character?

— Yes.

— From a movie?

— No.

— From a book?

— No.

— From a video game?

— Yes!

— Old or new?

— Old.

— Like 90s?

— Yes.

— Famous?

— Super famous.

— Hero or villain?

— Hero!

— Human?

— No.

— Animal?

— Yes.

— Kind of a rat?

— What kind of question is that?!

— Yes.

— It’s Crash Bandicoot!

— YES!

— Ahahahaha!

— No way!

— Wait, let me whisper something…

— BOONDEGUARD!

— Ahahahahahaha!

— I’m thinking of something!

— An animal^

— Yes.

— Lives in Italy?

— No.

— Land or water?

— Yes or no only.

— Water?

— Yes!

— A fish?

— No.

— A mammal?

— No.

— A reptile?

— No.

— Then what is it?!

— It’s a cnidarian.

— A what?!

— What on Earth a cnidarian is?!

— No way, Dad. A “diary” like the one for school?!

— No, Dad, ahahahaha! You’re adorable, darn it!

— A jellyfish.

— Why didn’t you just say that?!

— Is it a poisonous one?

— A cnidarian, what the heck…

— Like, the most poisonous?

— Pretty much.

— A Portuguese Man o’ War?

— YES!

— I like-ah the jumping stick, a super engorged brown tick, a magical unicorn tang, and bang bang bang

—  I don’t think it goes like that.

—  Like-ah the pangolin I like-ah the horny toad, the freakin’ Man-o-war, Iike-ah the crab inna road.

— Me neither.

— I’m thinking of something!

— Does it have pointy ears?

— Oh come on, Dad!

— Yes!

— A fennec fox!

— You got it!

— Good job! Hahahahaha!

— Come on, though.

— What do you want me to do?

— Okay, I've been thinking!

— I wanted to think!

— Come on, save it for later.

— What if I forget?

— You won't forget.

— Is it an animal?

— A fictional character?

— Yes!

— From a movie?

— No.

— From a cartoon?

— Yes!

— Disney?

— Not exactly.

— What do you mean not exactly?

— Pixar!

— No.

— Well, you need to explain this 'not exactly' then...

— Well, it's like that!

— Is it on Disney Plus?

— See? There you go!

— Ah, case solved!

— Look, it's right here on the right, behind this kind of mess.

— Now everything is clear.

— Are we there yet?

— Yay!

— Okay, I’m thinking of something!

— Nooo, enough! We’re here!

— Come on, one last one…

— Fine. An animal?

— Yes.

— Mammal?

— Yes.

— How big?

— Only yes or no.

— Medium.

— I don’t believe this.